I posted a status on this morning via Facebook Text Messages stated what a beautiful morning it is and the time when everything starts to come to life. A time of peace and tranquility and also a time to enjoy ourselves, which is kinda ironic because it kinda contradicts what I feel right now. Loneliness, ignored and felt like I live a life of a recluse. Huh...
Yeah, sometimes I have that kind of mood swings, not the type that woman have. I woke up this morning at bilik gerakan blurred and don't know what am I going to do with my life. Seriously, it's as if I have just lost a significant part of my life. And to make it worse, I saw this pictures of almost all NRIC secretariats at DUP yesterday helping with the booth set-up and everything. And the first thing that came up in my mind: what the fuck am I doing in my room when I can do that later and instead helped them and have all the fun??? Seriously I felt like I have always been left out and lonely. I wanted to be there and helped them, considering that I am the treasurer (assistant only!!!). Hanafe did call me yesterday but I didn't return his call, yeah, I guess I was just lazy to return calls from everyone. And then when I started to ignore, boy I would ignore for a long time.
Hmmm...okie lets talk about that mood swings I have. I have been experiencing this feeling for a very long time and I don't know what cause it. I guess it's kinda like that mood swings that all the woman have when they have period, except that they experienced it once a month and mine is irregular. When someone or something tickles a particular nerve in my sensory system and brain, that could trigger the onset of the mood swings. Symptoms: depression although not that serious, I would lock myself in my room, I would be very angry at that particular group of people or someone, and uncontrollable laziness, and sometimes fear. Well, I wouldn't call it mood swings, except for the depression part. And right now I am not happy with the things here are at bilik gerakan. I am not that comfortable with my body right now, and I am so tired, although I have slept a lot. That is what people called as fatigue. You rest enough but still you are tired. I guess that's because your stamina is deteriorating, like mine. And the pictures that Pei Jhu posted at FB tickels another nerve, the i-am-jealous nerve part. Yeah watching them all there makes me kinda jealous a bit. But what is done is done. Well that's my life, not many people can have that kind of life I have.
On the other hand, Operasi Selit was a successful one. Operasi Selit??? Yes, it is another strategic (kind of) publicity tactic that Akif came up with. The operation was having us to go to KFC which is surprisingly the drop off point for all the newspapers in the area before it is distributed. We arrive there at......owh I forgot the time, I was busy karaoke in Pei Jhu's car before we drop off (before the "mood swings" kicks in). We were supposed to insert the NRIC flyers inside the newspaper, hence the name of the operation (selit flyer). Hahaha...kinda funny LOL, working like some kind of criminal, and the hardest part is inserting the flyers inside the newspaper. The newspaper was stacked and tied together so hard that it is harder for us to insert the flyers, but in the end we managed to do it. And what a sense of accomplistment that was.
Well, I think that mood swings have disappeared, music never let me down though. And writing down what I felt inside really relieve me of all the pressures inside. Hmmm, maybe I should write regularly. And since it's holiday, I think this is ought to be the healthiest way to express my feelings. Hmm...
Well, I think that the rain had stopped falling. Time to do my work...
Until next time...
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