Friday, 29 January 2010

MPP

This morning (around 3.00 a.m.) was the announcement of the new Student Representative Council or Majlis Perwakilan Pelajar (MPP) USM for the academic year 2009/2010. And the new MPP for the Konstituensi Umum is:

Abel Benjamin Lim
Ahmad Wafi bin Sahedan
Aishah Mohd Marsin
Bazilah Mohamad Zaki
Muhamad Nur Hazim bin Mazlan
Sivaneswari Muniandy

A big applause and congratulation to all of them, be it the winner and those who didn't make it. The winner: I hope that all of you realize that this is a big responsibility and dedication of leading an APEX university and I hope that in whatever you are doing, always remember your supporters because without them you wouldn't be here anyway. Do your best towards driving the USM student body and the whole to greatness. HIDUP ASPIRASI!!!

For those who didn't make it, don't worry. Even if you couldn't represent your university, you can still do your best leading the university, albeit from behind the throne. Always contribute to the university and in whatever you are doing, give your full support. 

For me, become one of the MPP doesn't matter at all, because it's just a title given to you and well, several privileges. But deep down inside we are all, still, students of our beloved University. Bearing the MPP title does not make any difference at all, because those who doesn't bear the title can still make a huge difference. But the privileges that they enjoy set us apart. Yeah that's true.

Some people asked me, why I didn't run for MPP? The answer is simple: I don't want to be 'bounded' by one organization. That's it. My friend told me once that people like me, who joined quite a lot of activities, described them as 'gila event'. I refuted the statement but when I think about it, yeah, you could say I am 'gila event'. Well, not gila lah, it's just that I've been so bored and that's the reason why I joined a lot. I have this what I called as 'volunteerism blood' running in my vein. Everytime another event showed up, one that involves the University, somehow there is this hunger in my heart, and my brain telling me "join it". And automatically I walked to that place and my hand signing my name on it.

Freaky huh??? Now I imagine myself as Sylar, craving for all that power...

Luckily for me, I'm not the only one with this kind of 'hunger'. Some of my friends do joined quite a lot of activities and sometimes we do happen to be in the same event. A coincidence? No...

Well, back to the "Why I didn't run for the MPP?" question. First of all, there is not a single, even a slightest notion in me telling that I have to run for MPP. NO, NO, NO. And second, I am quite a "playboy" event. Think about it, if I do run for MPP and win, then I wouldn't be able to join a lot of activities such as NRIC, TOT, Rukun Negara, PERSIS and so much more. Those things are fun and exciting, something that I have been looking for since I graduated from high school years ago and lost my sense of excitement. After all, I am gila event and not wanted to be bounded at all.

Ahhh...finish talking about MPP...bla, bla, bla. Now, back to my life, I had my first motorbike accident on Wednesday. HAHAHAHAA...yes, and proud of it, although I have to endure the humiliation of being lying on the road and with the motor. And worst of all, I'm riding my friend's motorcycle, but it's fine, just a minor scratch. Me??? I have this modest abaration near my left elbow, and now it hurts. Ouch. And I wish I have those power of spontaneous regeneration (like Claire Bennet have) which can heal me in seconds. But at least I have scar to show off to girls...hahahhahahahaa. Am I crapping??? Maybe...hehehee

Well, that's all for today. Until next time...

Au revoir...

Monday, 25 January 2010

What happened???

Well, it's been a while since my last post, not sure when is that. Been preoccupied with my work in NRIC, TOT and Rukun Negara really make me hectic nowadays, the URL speak for itself. Huh, miss this blog so much, my very own bloggy...heheheee.

Well, as a start, a big HAPPY 20TH BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU EDUARD EDWIN. I should have written these words in my blog a few days ago, but only now that I have find the time needed to write in it, or the time needed to write a new blog. I'm celebrating it with a few surprises here and there and word of encouragement from my mother: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON. Semoga Tuhan memberkati dan memberi engkau kebijaksanaan. I LOVE YOU". These words make my day, and this is the first time she ever said this to me. I LOVE YOU TOO MUM, the strongest person I have ever known. GOD BLESS YOU TOO. And that day is the happiest day ever for me. Hope with a year older (uwaaaaaaa...) I'll get a lot wiser and be able to do so many great things and God Bless Me, AMEN.

On a happier (maybe sad) note, I get to know what happened to SYN, which stands for Steven Yeam Network, the corporate institution that I joined (once) with the hope that I could get through these economic recession and more importantly, I don't have to work for money, instead people work for me. Sounds familiar enough??? If you're thinking about MLM (Multi-Level-Marketing), then 10 points for you. Yup, it's all network marketing, but it's different from door-selling (which is horrible...really) and although the marketing plan is difficult (yet attractive), many have five-figure income once they attained the Marques status. Hmmm...want to know more what I'm talking about???

SYN stands for Steven Yeam Network (or as we say it "Sexy, Young and Naughty", generally because they're all still young and pretty much sexy, and naughty, myself included) is an independent team of distributors (Network Marketer) founded under the vision and leadership of Arch Duke Steven Yeam. With almost 20 years of network marketing exposure and experience under his belt, he has successfully created the biggest and most influential movement which manifests through SYN, in the network marketing industry throughout South East Asia. They revolutionizes the network marketing industry with the induction of a Pay Forward System, not sure what that means and I don't understand it, still. During the course of this organization, they have helped a lot of people to achieve success, donate to a lot of people, helping to make the world a better day, because of their motto: "We Care". Want to know more? Google DCHL and you'll find the answers.

Reality is, world doesn't always worked like that. They are a lot of good stuffs and bad one too. Some people who joined them do achieve success, but others like me, that's what they called "dead" (or mati in Malay). We joined them in the hope that after we graduated, we would become a Marques, or Duke, and then we could help people too. We paid a lot and we hope that we are able to withstand any challenges that comes ahead. But some, on their way to success, like me, falls out, cut off and hopeless. The once dream that I had was no longer there to keep me alive. Because when I joined them, I act before I think. Because I was afraid of them, that they gonna cut me off. I was freshman at that time, being alone in a new territory, friends are essential. So I had to do it, but face the consequences up to this day. But I can't denied I had a great time with them; they're the best friends I've ever had, up until today. They taught me things I've never known before. But I'm not into these things anymore, okie? I'm done. I'm just not cut out for business. To think like one, everybody can do that, but to act like one? It's going to take a little bit more than just dream; passion, great will, leadership capabilities. I try to asked my friends but I failed. Now damages done, no can undo. But I'm happy with things nowadays. Found my peace too, hmmm...

On my birthday, I got to found out what happened to them, as well as the rest of my once sidelines too. August 2009: Arch Duke Steven Yeam announced that he's going to form a new company, similar to DCHL (Digital Crowns Holding Limited - SYN very own umbrella) but different in business strategies, titles, marketing plan. Not only network marketing is the main core of business, but also online business, and hmm...forgot the rest, but as far as I know they are 5 main business core of this company, including the aforementioned one. And guess what's the name? 1Company. But it doesn't have nothing in common with Dato Najib concept of 1Malaysia, or so it seems. He claimed he thought about it WAY before Najib became Prime Minister. So when Najib sits on the throne, Steven introduced the company to all the SYN members during that August NDO (which stands for New Distributor Orientation, an important part of the organization, a complete exposure of the company and how to become an effective network marketer). I don't know if these are true or not; I'm "dead" anyway, but I can guess they don't like to see their capable and respected leader walk away from his own team and DCHL. Well, if Steven Yeam walked away, they're always gonna be someone who's replacing him, and I'm thinking of Duke Winnie (the Winner's team - I was on her team once), but from what I heard, he's taking other leaders too off DCHL into his new company. So, think, if the main pillar of power has gone, they're always gonna be someone to be the other pillar of power provided that they still there, but if all the capable and future pillar of powers has been taken away, what do you think would happen to the other small pillar of power or all those Marques, Count, Baron and Franchisee? 

Well, they're in the mess right now. Some still hold on to this business and believe there are still a bit of hope to recover but generally, many have stopped doing it, or at least temporarily hold on. Lost. Hopeless. Just like I was. I don't know the state of their mess, but this word describes it all: chaotic. Kucar-kacir, berterabur. From what I heard, Steven Yeam (ex Arch Duke) tried to lure them back together into the new companies. But it's gonna be very hard for him. He's expanding into Penang as well, open a new office on mainland side of Penang. For those who are still in this business, it's be gonna extremely hard for them, considering that there are no more NDOs (I heard so), hence training of the new distributors, if they managed to get one, have to be postpone or even if they tried too, they lack the former glory of orientation they once have, with all the leaders went away. Hmm...sad to think about it...even though I have, well, "dead", I still love them and miss them so much. Even though they are no longer in this business together - my upline is in Kelantan right now, medical study, my up-up-upline involved with all these photography thing, and the rests just stop or temporarily hold on - they still gather together, at that one place I favour a lot, Gee Tomyam. And boy, how much I miss being able to stay up until 3 o'clock in the morning at Gee and sit there talking nonsense, just enjoying our time together. Hmmm...seriously I miss them. And the reason I didn't contact my upline? I was ashamed that I got out from this business, ashamed that I cannot do better and to prove to him that I can do well in this business. Now, I'm starting to miss them

Well, that's all I'm gonna said now. I didn't said that this business is bad,  but some people are just not cut out for this kind of business, or for business in general. Some have great things going on for them, they're just gonna have to search for that subtle signs. Others have the abilities to do whatever they wanted to do (I'm not talking about Heroes); it depends on which side of the road that you choose. Some, like me, are still certain of what they wanted to do in life, but are still searching for the other roads, to seek other great opportunities, one that carved out the best in me and make me a better person. I hold on to my sister's word: learn from mistakes. History tends to repeat if you keep doing the same thing all over again........

ZZZZZZZZ...

Sunday, 10 January 2010

........................(Part 2)

Yesterday's highlights: a lot of people went holiday-ing, PTPTN is in already, they should have fun. And Irfan is coming...hahahhaha.

The title above is just one way to express how bored I am yesterday (It's Sunday already). With nothing to do (actually there is something) other than sleeping, woke up feeling terrible around 11 something, eat my brunch, then I went to CG for a meeting with this female named Daisy, which, surprisingly, came from Papar (my kampung...hoohohoho). Then again, sit there in my room with nothing to do; I was clueless at that time. Around 4 p.m., I went to the cafe; Marce asked me to teach C++. Wow, it's been a long time since I left that subject. It's easy to follow once you understand the whole syntax and the rule of programming. Most students in my class are clueless about C++, however, it's easier for me to understand. Seek to understand and you will understand, yeah!!!

After that, again, sit in my room; my rumate were gone that time, he went to Pusat Sains Negara. I wanted to, but with a lot of work to do, I can't (which is ironic since I didn't do anything yesterday). Bias is the reason why I didn't join my school activities and society. During their AGM that day (can't remember which day but it is within my first year), they only chose among themselves to be in the society. I hate that kind of "democracy" and "meritocracy". And I disappointed with them for doing the same thing over and over again. Try to hold activities outside Malaysia, maybe in Medan, Indonesia for example, like other school did. And as far as I know, School of Mathematical Sciences is among the richest school in USM, they should be able to hold this kind of activities. Goodness, what am I rambling about?

Enough with crapping. After that, I have my shower, went to the cafe eating, then I have my discussion with Om and Hadi about our minor project, and I'm still clueless about it. Then I asked Ikin about her day with Irfan, and she reply me, asking why I didn't come to the meeting. Goodness, how am I supposed to know about the meeting when nobody told me about it? So I when to the meeting for Malam Citrabayu Sabah. I was supposed to be in the committee but after much discussion, I decided that I should entered the competition since they have limited guys to dance with. And guess who's there??? Irfan...ahhahaha...it's been a long time since I met him last year. I guess he wanted to make up for what he did to Ikin, ignoring her for about a month...goodness. Then after the meeting was over, three of us, me, Irfan and Ikin went to Nazri to have a drink, coz I was dying for laici susu...nyum, nyum. But something odd came up, and it's about Irfan and Ikin. They walked separately, which is confusing since they just watch movie together that morning. I wanted to ask, but something is telling me to keep my mouth shut.

Then, a shocking moment. Ikin just left us at the table and go back after me and Irfan ordered our drinks, leaving us terpinga-pinga. I asked Irfan what happened to her, but he just say she's having a bad mood and I was thinking, maybe he's right, she looked tired after all. Which confusing me more since she was laughing at the meeting earlier. I don't know what happened to both of them, but as their friends and their ex-tutorial mate in KML, I have the right to know what happened. Then Irfan left me too, saying he need to go to Ikin. Okielah for me, Irfan is a gentleman after all. Then, when I went back and open my email, she told me that Irfan has been fooling with her. I asked her why, but she just keep on telling me that Irfan has been fooling her and asked me to help her. How do I wanted to help if I don't know the details of what had happened and although I have the right to know what happened, all I can do is give advice to both of them and let them solve themselves. This kind of thing involved emotion and heart, I'm afraid I might make matter worse for me and for them. So all I can do now is give my support to both of them. That's all.

I'm not being sarcastic but I can't just jumped in to their personal life and interrupt it. Like I say, I don't want to involve in this kind of thing, cause it might make matter worse than it already is. I don't know what is their problem, but I hope that they can solve it together. Sayang lah, dah dua tahun couple, then break. To be honest, they are among the sweetest couple I have ever seen, and that sentence came from deep within my heart. TOTAL HONESTY!!!

Well, that's the update for now...

Au revoir...

Friday, 8 January 2010

..................................

First week of 2010: stressed out, frustrated, disappointed and exhausting, the main reason being involved in a lot of activities, namely NRIC, Rukun Negara. And this is the first time that I register a full 20 units. Fluctuating emotion, confused mind make it even harder and worst. Mcm nak mati pun ada...

First time being a project manager (pengarah projek) for RN (and my first time being a project manager for an event as well); no wonder why I am so stressed out. I need support, which is hard to get, my secretariat is busy with classes and labs and they don’t even know what kind of situation I’m in. I know that some of them are not happy with my work and performance, I don’t care. With so many demands to make this event a successful one, they keep on push, push, and push. What I need is words like “Ko boleh buat ed” or “Xpa, biar sy tlg”. Even those words can comfort these fires burning like hell in this heart of mine. I don’t know if they are supporting me or keep pushing while at the same time they don’t care about me, I don’t know. But what I do know, it sounds like they don’t care. I know I am the PM, but at the same time I need support as well. They are part of this secretariat but with lack of commitment, I feel like I’m dying.

I know deep in my heart, I am good at work, reliable, always try to manage his time properly, but they are certain things that I’m not good at. I don’t know how to be friendly with people and that’s the main obstacle in my life. Sometimes I do socialize, but most of the time I’m not, partly because people don’t always socialize with me. Maybe it’s written in my face that “This boy is not good”; I don’t know. I’m not good at pushing people to do their work. And I’m trying to, but I don’t have the will to do it. Sometimes I am effective, sometimes I’m not. Sometimes I am full of confidence, and sometimes I just lay low this head of mine. And that spells what, a normal person? I don’t think so.

But I do know how to make people laugh. Sometimes I make fun of myself and people laugh at it. Hmmmm...guess I’m going to be a clown someday. But the reality is I don’t like people making fun of me. Nobody likes to be laugh at, except when you’re making a fool of yourself. Hahahaha. And nobody likes to be left alone. When I saw my friends having fun with their friends, a deep feeling rose in my heart; a terrible one and it spell jealous. When I saw people having fun with their friends, I wanted to have that kind of fun. I do have fun with my friends, but I wanted to keep on doing it every night. Goodness, what am I crapping about here?

What I meant to say is I wanted people to socialize with me more. And I don’t have anyone that I can call my best friend. They all are like friends to me, but just ordinary friends, “Hi and Bye” friends. I don’t have any friends that I can share my interests with. It seems like no one seems to fit with me and to be honest I don’t like it. I don’t know if I have a place in their heart like everyone does.

There I’ve said it, are you happy now???

Wait, wait, wait, there’s another thing. Back to the PM story, since this is the first time that I become a PM, I really DO need support. Please don’t be harsh with me, listen to what I said and consider every word that I’ve said, and please be patient with me. I am, I admit, a total loser and a total zero when I handle this big job, but I know that with their support, I can be as effective as they wanted me to be. Keep on pushing me, but do you really consider my life?

Hate me as you wanted to, but in Flory’s word, “I’ll live anyway”.

There I’ve said it, are you happy now???

P.S.: If you do happen to read this post, and you felt like you are the one that I’m talking about, it’s all in your head. In my words, you are imagining it.

Monday, 4 January 2010

1st blog of 2010...

Wow, it's been a long time since I updated my blog, miss it so much, but I don't have any idea what to write even if I wanted to, and I cannot find the time to write, been busy with NRIC, TOT, Rukun Negara stuff, here and there, enjoying myself. Well, now here I am, sitting in front of my Notty (notebook...ahhahaha), thinking about what I wanted to write here, goodness, no wonder people generally don' like to blog, with all the idea of what to write down, it's exhausting just to wfind the right sentence to write....

First and foremost, A BIG HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL AND A BIG WELCOME TO 2010. May God bless me throughout this year, luck all year round, and more exciting adventures out there, waiting for me to feel the thrill. Updates on my life: so far my NRIC work is good, well, nothing much to work on in NRIC (due to the reason that the "office" keeps on closing), TOT...hmmm...I cannot say much about TOT since I didn't came to meeting last week (feel guilty though), and today is the opening of SRN booth to attract new people into joining our secretariat, which disappointingly, we didn't attract much, blame on the publicity and then plain decoration that we have.

Fuh...Monday is supposed to be like "holiday day" time for me, considered that my class start at 4 p.m. today (and just one class only!!!), but there are so much to do today, I'm gonna have to brace myself for tommorow, all major classes in ONE DAY!!! Gonna die if like this...

Well, not gonna die though; the question is can I hold so many subject (this is the first semester that I register a full 20 units) and with a lot of commitments to make: NRIC, TOT, SRN and if I'm chosen (the interview is this morning, and it's kinda okie lah...), EKSPEN. I don't know if I could perform well in my studies and all this works, but I believe the key to success is time management, and clear thinking...

Wish me luck that I can do all this things...I'm starting to feel the stress now even though it is the first week of second semester...hope I can perform well...fuhh...Lord is my Amazing Grace, Bless Thee in Heaven, Amen.

Well, nothing more to say, I don't know if I'm lazy to think or what, but I got another stuff going on, so until next time...

Tata...